I Photograph adequately. A sobering thought, no? And while more skilled than most, my art leaves much to be desired, not unlike my penmanship to my father’s chagrin. The journey to adequacy has been long, arduous, and not without its breakthroughs and breakdowns. And while I do mean adequate, there is no sense of emotional attachment. There is only the next work of art to be created next in the journey.
Part of that journey is inspiration. (Overrated to Chuck Close and crew, a necessity to others.) I’m currently re-reading Dostoevsky’s The Gambler and am captured by his lament on adequacy throughout the short story. It’s been over a decade since I’ve read the work, and as I’ve grown since my mid 20’s, old passages read fresh and current with the struggles of this here photographer. Having written and taught at length on the need for obsession in this field, or any other for that matter, is to create something truly worthy. That first inclination as a child to make Art for the rest of time, a burden to bear that Damoclies himself dare not attempt. And yet in that golden guilded palace of our mind, there is a sobering truth that we must continue to gamble on ourselves and on the future.
So what does that mean exactly?
The need for experimentation…
