She had had enough. “Pompous Ass!” echoed through the ornate Victorian in Oak Park. I was 7 years old and finally had pushed my Mother to the brink. Contemplating my latest interjection, I questioned whether I would see another sunset that very moment. Nearly out the door that morning, she made an about face and retreated to the breakfast table, hastefully escorted me to the bookshelf, pulled my new Macmillan dictionary off the shelf and said, “Here, look up pompous ass and tell me what it means when I come home from work.”, and promptly exited the victorian post-haste.

Being that it was a children’s dictionary, I was unable to find said article to define, to which my Father procured a dictionary that had looked as if it had been from the turn of the century. (Turns out I wasn’t far off.) Rifling through the pages, … Pompous, … how do I spell pompous? and ass? Is that one word or two? Ah, here is pompous, but no ass.

Via Meriam-Webster :

Pompous, adjective: having or exhibiting self-importance : arrogant.

Nailed it, I thought to myself. I then searched for ass, and to my surprise found a variety of definitions not suitable for a 7 year old. 6pm rolled around and I awaited to expound of my journey of pomp-assery to my mother. Moments later she walked in the door, with work accouterment still in hand, I approached with dictionary ear marked and pointed to the definition, read it aloud and retorted, “Yes.”, and promptly left the foyer. Momentarily stunned, she put down her work bag. Suffice it to say, nothing has changed some 30 years later…